Parker’s Midweek Update – Vol. 19, No. 44; Thursday, Aug. 16, 2018

Aug 16, 2018 | Parker's Midweek Update | 0 comments

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Thursday: watermelon.
Friday-Sunday: raspberry.
Monday-Tuesday: orange.
Wednesday-Thursday: root beer.


This week’s schedules:
Thursday—Boys golf, at Rapid City invitational, 8:00.
Friday—Girls tennis, at Harrisburg, 1:00; at Sioux Falls invitational, 4:00.
Saturday—Girls tennis, at Sioux Falls invitational, 9:00.
Saturday—Boys soccer, at Aberdeen Central, 1:00.
Saturday—Girls soccer, at Aberdeen Central, 3:00.
Tuesday—Boys golf, Pierre invitational, 10:00.

Girls soccer (2-0): The defending state champion Lady Govs opened defense of their title with a 1-0 home win over Brandon Valley. In the 57th minute the scoreless deadlock was broken on a goal by Caytee Williams off Taryn Senger’s assist. Goalkeeper Mackenzie Rath made one save in net. Rath had another shutout Tuesday in Spearfish as the Lady Govs won by a 2-0 count.

Boys soccer (0-2): The Governors lost their season opener to Brandon Valley, 2-0. On Tuesday Pierre lost to Spearfish, 6-0. That game as well as the girls’ game being played simultaneously was shortened due to lightning.

Boys golf: Pierre placed 15th at the Sioux Falls invitational Monday with a team score of 399. No Governors placed in the top 20. Rapid City Stevens was the team champion with a 309 score. Guy Hunter has taken over the head coaching position.

Aug. 17: at Harrisburg, 1:00.
Aug. 17-18: at Sioux Falls invitational, 4:00 and 9:00.
Aug. 23: Brandon Valley (at Rapid City), 2:00 MDT.
Aug. 24-25: at Rapid City invitational, 2:00 and 8:00.
Aug. 31: at Mitchell, 12:30.
Sept. 1: Madison, 10:00.
Sept. 4: Home triangular, 10:00.
Sept. 8: at Huron quadrangular, 10:00.
Sept. 15: at Aberdeen invitational, 9:00.
Sept. 21: Home triangular, 11:00.
Sept. 22: Home triangular, 8:00.
Sept. 27: at ESD invitational, Brookings, 8:00.
Oct. 4-6: at state tournament, Rapid City.


Life is so ironic it takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.
— StrongMind


This week’s schedules:
Friday—Football, at Mount Vernon-Plankinton (in Mount Vernon).

Class 11B football, Region 4:
Games this week—
STANLEY CO. at Mount Vernon-Plankinton.
WINNER at Sioux Falls Christian.

Aug. 17: at Mount Vernon-Plankinton, 7:00.
Aug. 24: at Winner, 7:00.
Aug. 31: Wagner, 7:00.
Sept. 7: Custer, 7:00.
Sept. 14: at Mobridge-Pollock, 7:00.
Sept. 21: at St. Francis.
Sept. 28: Woonsocket/Wessington Springs/Sanborn Central, 7:00.
Oct. 12: Chamberlain, 7:00.
Oct. 18: First-round playoff games.
Oct. 25: Quarterfinal games.
Nov. 2: Semifinal games.
Nov. 8-10: State championship games, Vermillion.


This week’s schedules:
Friday—Football, at Potter County (in Gettysburg).

Class 9B football, Region 1:
Games this week—
SULLY BUTTES at Potter County.

Aug. 17: at Potter County, 7:30.
Aug. 24: Herreid-Selby, 7:00.
Sept. 7: at Hitchcock-Tulare, 7:00.
Sept. 14: Warner, 7:00.
Sept. 21: at Sunshine Bible, 4:00.
Sept. 28: North Border, 7:00.
Oct. 5: Langford Area, 7:00.
Oct. 12: at Faulkton Area, 7:00.
Oct. 18: First-round playoff games.
Oct. 25: Quarterfinal games.
Nov. 2: Semifinal games.
Nov. 8-10: State championship games, Vermillion.


Aug. 18: Jason Noyes/Micki DeCurtins.
Aug. 18: Todd Leiferman/Hillary Handcock.
Aug. 19: Derek Berman/Danea Duxbury.
Aug. 25: Steven Gordon/Katelynn Engh.
Sept. 29: Tyler Arbach/Rachel Hartmann.
Oct. 6: Rodd Bauck/Megan Vockrodt.
Oct. 6: Cale Pell/Sarah Lihs.


Draw 16 boxes, four from left to right in each of four rows. Number the boxes in the top row from left to right 1, 2, 3 and 4. Number the left-hand box in the second row 5, the left-hand box in the third row 6, and the left-hand box in the bottom row 7.

1 across: Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
1 down: Blood stream blockage.
2 down: Honolulu’s island.
3 down: — and proper.
4 down: Spanish for God.
5 across: Mr. Ott.
6 across: Buckeyes’ home state.
7 across: Product that calms your stomach.

(Solution at the bottom of this Update.)


Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.
— selebrateyou


Minnesota United FC: The Loons drew with the Los Angeles Galaxy, 2-2. Minnesota is home against Dallas at 6 p.m. Saturday.


Minnesota Lynx: The Lynx defeated Las Vegas, 89-73; lost to Seattle, 81-72, and lost to Chicago, 91-88. Minnesota ends the regular season this weekend with a road game at Connecticut Friday and a home game vs. Washington at 6 p.m. Sunday on ESPN2.


Live NFL preseason games this weekend:
Friday—Buffalo at Cleveland, 6:30 (NFLN).
Saturday—Jacksonville at Minnesota, noon (NFLN).
Saturday—Oakland at Los Angeles Rams, 3:00 (NFLN).
Saturday—Cincinnati at Dallas, 6:00 (NFLN).
Saturday—Seattle at Los Angeles Chargers, 9:00 (NFLN).

Minnesota Vikings: After a 42-28 win at Denver in the preseason opener, the Vikings are home at noon Saturday vs. Jacksonville on NFL Network.

Denver Broncos: The Broncos lost to Minnesota, 42-28, in the first preseason game. Denver is home vs. Chicago at 7:05 p.m. MDT Saturday.


PGA Champions Tour: The Tour was off last week, but play resumes at the Dick’s Sporting Goods Open at Endicott, N.Y., Friday through Sunday.


Sometimes it takes only a single teacher to turn a child’s life around. Some children will come to school today because of that teacher. Be that teacher every day.
— WeTeach/Let’sTalk


1 day: State 4-H rodeo, Fort Pierre (Aug. 17-19).
1 day: Sully Buttes football opener (Aug. 17).
1 day: Stanley County football opener (Aug. 17).
4 days: First day of school at Riggs High (Aug. 20).
5 days: First day of school at Stanley County (Aug. 21).
6 days: First day of school in Pierre middle and elementary schools (Aug. 22).
8 days: BluntFest (Aug. 24-26.
9 days: Stanley County volleyball opener (Aug. 25).
9 days: Pierre football opener (Aug. 25).
14 days: State Fair, Huron (Aug. 30-Sept. 3).


South Dakota volleyball: The Coyotes open with an exhibition game at Iowa State Friday, then a red/white scrimmage at home Saturday.

Northwestern (Iowa) soccer (Cole Cruse): The Red Raiders open Cole’s junior year with a scrimmage match at Iowa Lakes Community College in Spencer today (Thursday).

Northern soccer (Tori Thorpe): The Wolves kick off their season with two exhibition matches at home—Monday against Presentation and Wednesday against Concordia (Minn.).

South Dakota State soccer: The Jackrabbit women lost their opener to Minnesota, 2-1. SDSU plays at Iowa State Friday and at Kansas Sunday.

South Dakota soccer (Joana Zanin): The Coyotes played two exhibition games this week. In a 2-1 loss at North Dakota, Joana had four shots, including one shot on goal. On Tuesday USD dominated St. Mary’s (Neb.), 13-0, as nine of the goals were scored by freshmen. Joana got one at the 51:52 mark on a pass from the left side of the box to the right. The regular season opens at home today (Thursday) against Wyoming. USD goes to Northern Iowa Sunday.


Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
— The Wright Stuff Chicks


Legion baseball: State champion Post 22 of Rapid City reached semifinal Saturday before losing out at the Central Plains Regional. Both of Post 22’s losses were to champion Dubuque County, Iowa, which goes on to the Legion World Series in Shelby, N.C., beginning today. There four teams are in each of two pools, and the best two teams in each pool go to the Monday semifinals.
Four pool play games today (Thursday) and two games Friday will be available on the Internet at www.espn3. But starting with three pool games Saturday and three more Sunday as well as the semifinals Monday and the national championship game Tuesday, all games will be on regular TV at ESPNU. Regional champions in the Stripes pool are Dubuque County, Iowa; Wilmington, Del.; Gonzales, La., and Braintree, Mass. Teams in the Stars pool are Randolph County, N.C., Midland, Mich., Meridian, Idaho, and Henderson, Nev.

Expedition League: The Badlands Big Sticks, the team that beat out the Pierre Trappers by a half-game for the second playoff spot in their division, won their semifinal game as did the Western Nebraska club. In the best-of-three championship series, Western Nebraska beat Badlands 11-5 and 16-4.

Sioux Falls Canaries: The Canaries extended a winning streak to five with three straight over Fargo-Moorhead before losing the last game of their series. Since then the Birds have split a pair at St. Paul. Now 34-47, Sioux Falls is in a three-way battle with Winnipeg and Chicago for fourth place in the North Division. The Canaries finish their series at St. Paul tonight, then go to Gary-South Shore for three weekend games. They will be home vs. St. Paul Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

Chicago Cubs:
Thursday: at Pittsburgh, 6:05.
Friday: at Pittsburgh, 6:05.
Saturday: at Pittsburgh, 6:05.
Sunday: at Pittsburgh, 12:35.
Tuesday: at Detroit, 6:10.
Wednesday: at Detroit, 6:10.
Thursday: Cincinnati 7:05.

Minnesota Twins:
Thursday: Detroit, 7:10 (FSN).
Friday: Detroit, 7:10 (FSN).
Saturday: Detroit, 6:10 (FSN).
Sunday: Detroit, 1:10 (FSN).
Monday: Chicago White Sox, 6:10 (FSN).
Tuesday: at Chicago White Sox, 7:10 (FSN).
Wednesday: at Chicago White Sox, 1:10 (FSN).
Thursday: Oakland, 7:10 (FSN).

Colorado Rockies (times MDT):
Thursday: at Atlanta, 5:35.
Friday: at Atlanta, 5:35.
Saturday: at Atlanta, 5:10.
Sunday: at Atlanta, 11:35.
Tuesday: San Diego, 6:40.
Wednesday: San Diego, 6:40.
Thursday: San Diego, 1:10.


Thursday, Aug. 16:
Susan Culberson, Dustin Van Balen, Nancy Shoup, Ann (Schroyer) Schwartz, Brittney (Nuttall) Binger, Mike Vogel, Gaylon Gerber, Terry Keller, Melanie (Bunkowske) Cruse, Trudie (King) Feldman.
— 4th anniversary, Derek/Natalie Van Roekel.
— 10th anniversary, Robert/Samantha (Merrill) Pietz.
— 15th anniversary, Tom/Jill (Novotny) Hart.
— 15th anniversary, Eric/Misty (Doll) Brenden.
— 15th anniversary, Devin/Kimberly (Bartels) Malone.
— 10th anniversary, Terry/Brenda (Crandell) Carroll.

Friday, Aug. 17:
Rachel (Hermanson) Knutson, Stephanie (Colwill) Harmon, Lois Telford, Adam Snow, Karen Stengle, Brad Curtis, Ryan Callahan, Olive Williams, Asher Williams.
— 5th anniversary, Mitchell/Casi (Huizenga) Popko.
— 11th anniversary, Jesse/Megan Ahlers.
— 17th anniversary, Jeremy/Penny Ripperger.
— 16th anniversary, Bob/Cara (Roseland) Gray.
— 16th anniversary, Josh/Katie Melgaard.
— 44th anniversary, Marc/Sue Ford.

Saturday, Aug. 18:
Landyn Uecker, Kathy Lindekugel, Mike Larsen, Hannah Stahl, Kyle Weaver, Jerrid Conway, Brooke (Graff) Albertson.
— 6th anniversary, Jamey/Erin (Titze) Herr.
— 51st anniversary, Larry/Dee Lundeen.
— 9th anniversary, Isaac/Anna Vogel.
— 51st anniversary, Larry/Anita Zastrow.
— 11th anniversary, Will/Stephanie (Magedanz) Bartsch.

Sunday, Aug. 19:
Nick Johnson, Tom Huber, Bill Stevens, Jacob Shoup, Naomi Fossen, Tanna Becker, Anita Jung, Emily (Zarecky) Steber, Carmen Howard, Maddie Lund, Ross Hettinger.
— 1st anniversary, Wyatt/Miranda Trautman.
— 1st anniversary, Trevor/Mary (Volmer) Lopour.
— 1st anniversary, Trevor/Brielle (Yackley) Bohle.
— 18th anniversary, Jesse/Sarena (Nuttall) Beastrom.
— 1st anniversary, Colton/Jenny (McKillip) Langdeau.
— 46th anniversary, Mike/Jean Denton.
— 12th anniversary, Abran/Brandy Kean.
— 48th anniversary, Don/Diane Giesinger.
— 12th anniversary, Ryan/Melissa (Luers) Hansen.

Monday, Aug. 20:
Jared Randen, Brycen Haefner, Lindsey (Friez) Karschnik, Devin Weingart, Jordyn Martin, Amber Ogle, Sue McNaboe, Becky (Eich) Watson, Tina Jensen.
— 2nd anniversary, Ben/Michelle (Monroe) Kettler.
— 1st anniversary, Cody/Mandi Coppess.
— 14th anniversary, Tyler/Erin (Schiefelbein) Jones.
— 53rd anniversary, Ray/Wanda Beck.
— 13th anniversary, Brian/Amy (Johnson) Berendes.
— 8th anniversary, Brad/Katie (Zeller) Murphy.
— 58th anniversary, Jon/Terry (Lamster) Horning.
— 56th anniversary, Bob/Glynnes Sargent.

Tuesday, Aug. 21:
Jerry Ortbahn, Abigail (Barber) Burgum, Savannah Cromwell, Amy (Ripperger) Grunewaldt, Becki Weischedel-Erickson, Abran Kean, Jordan Lamb, Dennis Reed, Tamra (Buol) Armijo, Dorothy (Nygaard) Gibbs, Amanda Peck, Emily Lancaster, Denise Garber, John Peck, Rip Ray, Jamie Damon, Judson Seaman, Vanessa Sevier.
— 3rd anniversary, Vinh/Jackie (Schlaikjer) Nguyen.
— 30th anniversary, Larry/Peggy Hofmeister.
— 14th anniversary, Kevin/Kim (Kindle) Nachreiner.
— 14th anniversary, Jay/Nikole (Hillmer) Penrod.
— 35th anniversary, Greg/Sarah (Adam) Axtman.

Wednesday, Aug. 22:
Sheridan Cronin, Steve Harding, Jason Stahl, Kirby Mammenga, LaDonna Zellmer, Quinn Schiefelbein, Alissandra Stoeser, Jim McLain, David Ludwig, Gail (Flansburg) Tennant.
— 37th anniversary, Brent/Betty Lindbloom.

Thursday, Aug. 23:
Becky Burke, Bohde Kuiper, Joshua Kinsman, Dan Sutera, Jan Sommer, Hope Dill, Alice Wright, Stephanie Zebroski, Alice Whitebird, Merna Imsland, Barry Sargent, Aske Whitebird, Colin Whitebird, Dawn Magee.
— 4th anniversary, Austin/Kelsey Blair.
— 4th anniversary, Shane/Deni (Lohman) Hollingsworth
— 4th anniversary, Caleb/Katie (Kemink) Shepherd.
— 43rd anniversary, Marty/Shirley Javurek.
— 4th anniversary, Todd/Michelle (Beemer) DeWitt.
— 15th anniversary, Josh/Malene Ford.
— 49th anniversary, Bill/Kathy Van Duzer.
We fondly remember Tyler Wilcox on his birthday.


“Young people, you have it in you to shout. It is up to you not to keep quiet, even if others keep quiet. If we older people and leaders keep quiet, if the whole world keeps quiet and loses its joy, I ask you, will you cry out?
— Pope Francis


— Continuing our series of readers telling us where in the United States they would like to visit, Bobbi (Martin) Drewes of Rapid City would like to see the giant redwoods in California. “Gary and I have taken many motorcycle trips, and to see the giant trees is on our bucket list. The photos I’ve seen are spectacular, and to see them in person would be awesome.”


Blake Dean has accepted an internship in Governor Daugaard’s office for this fall. He has also been accepted into the 2020 doctor of physical therapy class at Baylor University in Texas. Blake will take classes online from Pierre for the next two years, beginning in January. However, he has to go to Dallas-Fort Worth twice per semester for from a week to 12 days each time.

Our sympathy to the Hufford and Keeler families. Colin Hufford, 19, died Aug. 8 as the result of a car accident in rural Hughes County. Services were held Tuesday at First United Methodist Church. He was born in California to David and Erin (Keeler) Hufford. The family lived in Kansas City until moving to Pierre in 2001. Colin graduated from Riggs High School. During high school he began working at Domino’s Pizza, and at the time of his death he was a general manager there. Among his survivors are his mother, Erin Hufford of Pierre; his father, David Hufford of Pierre and his fiancee, Monica Sorenson; his sisters, Carolyn Hufford of Pierre and Brittany McCombs of Simi Valley, Calif.; Brittanhy’s two children; his long-time girlfriend, Sidney Lacher, and his grandmother, Ruth Hufford of Valparaiso, Ind.

The Sanford International PGA Senior Golf Tournament that will be held at Minnehaha Country Club in Sioux Falls Sept. 17-23 announced this week that Onida native Tom Byrum, who plays regularly on the PGA Champions Tour, will be one of the golfers playing in the inaugural Sanford event.

Karissa Guthrie won the South Dakota Golf Association’s state women’s amateur championship Sunday at Elmwood in Sioux Falls, carding a final-round 73 to overtake the leaders and win by a stroke. Karissa, who will begin her senior year of golf at Northern Michigan University this fall, had a scorecard of 75-76-73=224, 8 over par. Julie Jansa, Sioux Falls, was second, a stroke behind at 9 over. Another Pierre golfer, Katie Bartlett, who will be a junior golfer at USD this fall, led into the final day and finished third at 74-73-79=226, 10 over par. At the men’s state amateur tournament Matthew Johnson of the Sutton Bay course finished 27th at 6-over 222, and Michael Keeton of Hillsview was 28th with the same score. Austin Hoss tied for 40th at 227. The champion was Jace Guthmiller of Yankton at 202, 14 under par.

Music on the patio at Drifters will be provided by Murdo’s Cody Henson Hullinger tonight (Thursday) starting at 6:30. Next week on Aug. 23 the musician there will be Amanda Sherer.

On the deck at the American Legion cabin for Sunday evening music starting at 5:30 will be Dan Hall and the Joe Creek Band. Next week on Aug. 26 music will be performed by In & Out.

William “Bill” Johnson, 90, died Aug. 12 at Pierre Care and Rehabilitation Center. Services are being held this morning (Thursday) at 10:30 a.m. at Feigum Funeral Home. Mr. Johnson grew up at Orient, then served in the U.S. Army in Japan and Korea in 1951-53. He worked at the U.S. Air Force radar base just north of Gettysburg from 1956 to 1968, then came to Pierre and served as senior operator at Oahe Dam from 1968 to 1985. He and Vivian Burke were married in 1956, and they enjoyed 58 years together until she passed away. Mr. Johnson is survived by their three children, Jeff Johnson and his wife Dona Mae, Pam Templeton and her husband Don, and Sue Armbruster and her husband Tom; six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

Kari Kebach is beginning her fifth year at Colorado University in Boulder where she is an associate athletic trainer for women’s soccer, men’s golf and skiing. She is also coordinator for the CU sports medicine intern program. Kari, who graduated from Riggs High in 2001, was previously at Tennessee, Vanderbilt and Mississippi State before joining the CU staff in the fall of 2014.

J.J. Iverson has decided the demands of his medical sales job with Zimmer Alaska prevent his continuing as one of the football coaches at West Anchorage High School. However, he still trains quarterbacks from all over Alaska. This year’s West team runs a two-quarterback system, both of whom were trained by J.J. The team opened its season last Friday, scoring on the final play to end Soldotna’s 59-game winning streak, 18-13. West had recovered a fumble at its own 7-yard line with three minutes left and drove 93 yards in 10 plays to win the game.

Meanwhile, Onida native Jesse Martin is freshman coach and helps with the varsity’s quarterbacks and defensive secondary at Laramie High School in Wyoming. The varsity Plainsmen open their season Aug. 24 at Casper Kelly Walsh. Jesse’s freshman team open Aug. 25 against Cheyenne Central.

At this Sunday’s 8 a.m. service at the Oahe Chapel, the Rev. Roger Easland will conduct the service. On Aug. 26 people from Southeast United Methodist Church will lead the service.

The Thursday night “Tales on the River” program at the Moose Lodge tonight will feature author Wayne Fanebust on his new book, “The Jesse James Gang in Dakota Territory.” His program starts at 7 p.m., but go early for music by the Baker family at 6:30. Next week on Aug. 23 the program will feature Pegie Douglas on the life of Badger Clark.

James Tinker passed away at home at the age of 95 Aug. 11. Visitation will take place from 6 to 7 p.m. tonight (Thursday) at Isburg Funeral Home. Internment will take place at Black Hills National Cemetery. A native of Redfield, Mr. Tinker attended Yankton College for 1 1/2 years, then served in the U.S. Navy during World War II. After the war he finished his degree at Yankton College, then attended the University of Wisconsin for his engineering degree. He moved to Pierre and worked for the Department of Health for four years, then the Department of Transportation for 35 years. He and the former Constance Hook were married in 1950. The Tinkers were snowbirds to Arizona for 20 years. He is survived by his wife of 68 years, Connie Tinker of Pierre; their daughter, Nanette Charbonneau and her husband Steve in Colorado; their son, Bob Tinker and his wife Kayla in Pierre; four grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

Joey Stahl shot his first-ever hole-in-one last week on the 150-yard No. 4 hole at Fox Run in Yankton, using a 7 iron.

Steven Schaefer, who graduated from Augustana University this past spring, is beginning optometry school at the Illinois College of Optometry, located just south of downtown Chicago. The Rapid City Stevens alumnus is the son of Troy and Kim (Merkwan) Schaefer.

Our sympathy to the LaBrie families. Mike LaBrie, 42, Turton, died Aug. 11 at the Clark Care and Rehabilitation Center after a three-year battle with brain cancer. Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated Wednesday at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Turton. He is survived by his wife, Mollie, and two children; his mother, and six siblings, including his brother, Rick LaBrie, and his wife Debbie and their family in Pierre.

Kirsti Garrett revealed on Facebook last week that her mother, Sharla Garrett, was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. Sharla and husband Brad left for Sioux Falls the same day, and Sharla has begun 28 days of treatment at Avera McKennan Hospital. Kirsti and her brother, Torey Garrett, have established a CaringBridge wite where friends can track Sharla’s progress on a daily basis.

Here’s a calendar date to save: Jeannette Beemer’s 100th birthday later this year will be celebrated at what her family is calling a “birthday bash” from 2 to 4 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 3. The location in Pierre and other details are forthcoming.

Amy (Ripperger) Grunewaldt, after 10 years with Four Oaks, is beginning a new job with United Way in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Four Oaks is a facility with several locations in Iowa whose services are focused on the family. Its programs empower children and families to achieve stability, self-sufficiency and permanency.

Heather Mangan revealed on her blog this week that she is enrolling in a clinical mental health counseling program for the next three years at Roosevelt University in Chicago. This is her first step toward becoming a therapist. Heather has been offered a graduate assistant-ship, which will cover her tuition. Heather and Ethan Fife were married earlier this summer.




Off they go, leaving the nest empty

Some of the college kids are already on their way back to their campuses. Where did the summer go!

With assistance from one of those unsolicited pieces that show up on Facebook, forwarded from somebody to another to another and finally to me, here is a list of things a college student will take only a semester or less to realize:

  • That no matter how late you schedule your first class, you will still sleep through it.
  • That you have changed so much without even realizing it.
  • That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
  • That, if you wear polyester, everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.
  • That each clock on campus shows a different time.
  • That if you were smart in high school, so what!
  • That you can know everything and still fail a test.
  • That you can know nothing and still ace a test.
  • That having a final one day is no excuse for not attending a party the night before.
  • That home is a great place to visit but you’re probably glad you don’t live there any more.
  • That most of your education will be obtained outside of class.
  • That there is somebody on your campus who will find you a lot more interesting, attractive and fun to be around than anybody in your high school class ever did.
  • That your parents will believe you when you say “I spent the whole evening at the library” only so often.
  • That you are one of those people your parents warned you about.
  • That Sunday is a figment of the world’s imagination.
  • That psychology is really biology, that biology is really chemistry, that chemistry is really physics and that physics is really math.
  • That your parents are gradually becoming smarter as time goes along.
  • That it is possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by friends.
  • That you live for getting mail, even junk mail.
  • That you have come to know the pizza boy on a first-name basis.
  • That looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
  • That you will think to yourself at least once a week, “Man! I’m glad Mr. ___ (or Mrs. ___) made me learn that in high school.”
  • That Walmart has become such a cool store.
  • That the weekend lasts from Thursday through Sunday.
  • That rearranging your dorm room is your favorite pastime.
  • That everybody on your floor of the dorm will think your mother is the coolest Mom around when you get a box full of homemade cookies.
  • That wearing dirty socks three days in a row is no big thing.
  • That you would rather clean than study.
  • That you will think nothing of driving back to campus through the night from an out-of-state concert
  • That next semester you will schedule your classes around your sleep habits and the soap opera schedule.
  • That you are starting to think and sound like your roommate.
  • That black lights and highlighters are the coolest things.
  • That your having such a good time being away from home won’t seem so disappointing to your parents when your name appears on the Dean’s List.
  • That your whites don’t turn out nearly so white when you do your own laundry as when Mom does it.
  • That friends are what make college worthwhile.


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